- i'm not sure i can be this person anymore.

and if the answer is no

- 'tonight,' i thought to myself, 'i shall have a dinner composed entirely of various sidedishes, and it shall be glorious.'

- and i did. and it was.


- also, when i saw this picture on yahoo, at first glance, i thought it was a butt.

the fallacy in your head

- to all my homies (especially chamillionaire):

- i know you've been wondering, wishing you could come to me for advice without having to worry about the heartless taunting i would provide to you instead.

- well my comrades, i have decided to prevent me from having to ridicule every one of you individually. in fact, i have decided to not ridicule you at all. instead, i will just answer your question.

- no, your grill is not hot.

- and it's not because you look the front of a car or because i think you've gotten into some sort of bar fight that caused you to lose your teeth and your dentist didn't have suitable replacements, or even because it makes me think that you got your bling in a dishonest way and thus can't take it to the bank and have to store it in your mouth to keep it safe.

- it's not hot because of one other person who has gold teeth:


- harry, from home alone; he's a bad man.

on emotions

- it's burning, it's bursting, and i can't get it out. it's pounding, it's tearing, but for some reason, i just can't get it out. it's frantic and i'm frantic and we could both use a shot of morphine or calm. i can't sit still. i want to wreak havoc on the world. i want to vandalize traffic signs. i want to live, to breathe, to feel. i want to break free of these walls and break free of these constraints and i want to blow dandelions into the wind. i want to run through mud and make thick, memorable footprints. i want to make an impact.

what would you do for a trojan war

[hourray for stealing your housemate's incredibly chinese computer and having to guess what the buttons mean in order to update your blog!]

- ladies: unless you are on your period, there is no reason to take twenty minutes to use a washroom.

- i challenge all of you to shave 10% off your peeing time every week for the next two months. then, you can enjoy the real joy of peeing quickly:

- when you wake up in the morning and need to pee, run, do it quickly, as practiced, then run back to bed.

- it will STILL BE WARM!

we saw dead blair on the road

[WARNING! WARNING! computer crash. dangerous lack of heather updating her blog ahead!]

- luckily i squeezed in 30 minutes at the library just for you.

- midterms ended yesterweek, and i had quite some interesting memory strategies, one of which i plan on sharing with you.

* for science kids: we were learning about the proteins in the electron transport chain.

* for non-science kids: there's a series of reactions across a membrane in your body that requires the transportation of negative charges (electrons) to particular proteins.

- now, the large majority of the proteins need only one electron to function, others need one in some cases and two in others. but there is one type of protein that always requires two electrons to function: a flavin.

- how did i memory strategy this? well you can't just say flav, it has to be FLAVA FLAV!

- you see? two. always.

i say go, go, go

- well, we finally broke. i'm actually surprised we lasted as long as we did. i expected it to be over after about two weeks.

- no, silly public, i'm not talking about britney and her hubby (rapper?1?) k-fed, i am referring to both my housemate and myself. and groceries.

- sure, we only live 7 minutes from the grocery store, and sure, we only buy 30 dollars worth of food at a time. sure, we're in the prime of our lives - our muscular peaks, if you will.

- but my goodness, it just gets harder and harder to will ourselves to carry those groceries home.

- so we borrowed a cart. i know, i know, we're rebels. but we're going to bring it back. granted, we'll be doing it dukes of hazard style, what with the jumping in and out of said cart and dodging through traffic. but rest assured, fearful public, it will find its way back home.

on opening your eyes

- somebody's trying to steal the sky and the ground is slipping from beneath my feet. the clouds are spinning like they're trying to escape, but i guess we're all just trying to get away. this feeling infects me and i have to get it out - through actions, through words, through triumphant fanfares of love. even as the world around me crumbles to its knees, i stand firm and fearless like an ill-informed twit. but i am blind to the consequences and blind to my doom, i see only the moonlit sonata of banjos and broken hearts. it's eerie and beautiful like old black and white movies and scabs. i climb that old weathered rope ladder, stained with tears and melted souls, and take in the world with a single glance and a single breath. and although it seems desperately egocentric, i come to believe that all this destruction is for me to rebuild and make my own. even you, my little rascal, were meant for me.

modern day gentleman

- evidently, my life revolves around the bus, as any minute novelty that i see fit to reflect upon has its origins in my travels using said mode of public transport.

- i just felt that i should inform the ladies: chivalry is not yet dead.

- as i was attempting to exit a rather crowded bus yesterday and had already forced many a person into bus poles because they refused to respond to my demands of them getting out of my way, and when i finally made it to the door, there was a person in the way of the button thing (that's the official name, by the way).

- but, instead of the struggle i was expecting, a nice young boy leaned back from in front of blocking man and hit the button for me. i'm not sure i've ever been so grateful in my life, except for five minutes ago when my housemate let me pee before he showered. but other than that, it was definitely an intense moment of gratitude. and i'm not even sure if he heard me say thank you.

his heart turned to liquid and it trickled from his eyes

- it's exam time. it's only midterms, but in reality that is still cause for panic because a couple of my midterms are worth half my mark. yay!

- a lot of people have secret weapons they pull out for exams: the uncanny ability to stay awake for several days on end, the ability to process litres of coffee in one sitting, or the ability to have actually retained information during lectures and therefore regard studying as unnecessary.

- me? i go for chocolate chip cookies. they have nothing to do with studying or exams, but man, do they keep me cheery.